Friday, December 6, 2013

Embarrassing Things

And now for an installment of: Embarrassing things you do while you're young and the ways you might repeat them. Oh, goodness. I just realized that could be a really long entry with a circle of mistakes we make. And then remake. Like dating someone and realizing it's not quite working so agreeing to stay together and work on the issues only to have one of the people cheat on the other and then everyone is heartbroken and you talk about how much it hurts with friends and family and ignore the advice and decide you want to try it again anyway. (Whew, run-on.) Okay, well, our mistakes are our own to make. That's not a story about me, by the way, but my previously newly single Tindering roommate, now non-resingled. I've always had to rule that if it broke once, it will break again. I don't really believe in breaking up and getting back together. Gluing together pieces of broken ceramic still leaves you with broken ceramic, with holes and weak spots: That mug will never been the same as before you dropped it; never as good as before the handle popped off. But, to each their own - my coworker's been using the same glue-back-together Stanford mug for years.

This installment isn't about any of that; instead it is simply about a list. A list I made in 2003 after breaking up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. Well, actually, he broke up with me - not well, might I add, and then became this guy...and then a total jerkface, so we don't speak anymore. But enough with the babbling, allow me to present to you my 2003 version of "My Guy Qualifications":

non tobacco user, brown hair, (blue eyes a plus), no drugs, social alcohol drinker (not over done), nice to his mother, in or graduated from college, older than me, has priorities straight, moderate to no video game playage, NICE car a plus, dislikes country music, likes good music, nice hands, clean nails, (nice smile a plus), taller than me, good hygine, smells nice (mmm), not anal retentive, makes me laugh [ammended in January, 2005 to include:] doesn't make me feel less with him, but on the contrary, better than i feel about myself alone.  makes sense

It's funny what having journals and blogs for two decades will provide you with. Amusement, mostly. But also the ability to realize you weren't always as happy as your memory serves. Or as sad. And also comparison: How much did I grow; what had I forgotten about; how much have a changed; how little have I changed; much better are my conjugations?!

Curious about change, in August this year (before I could be jaded by the introduction of someone - riiiiight), I jotted down a new list on my phone while at the gym. I recalled the first list while researching my book and wanted to update it for 29 year old me, you know, before he shows up and the list isn't just imagination. To see how reality balances out what in our heads, because he's on is way, I swear it! And he'll be something like (in no particular order):

1. Tall.
2. Brown hair.
3. Blue eyes.
4. College or passion.
5. Nice to his mother.
6. Older than me.
7. Prioritizes.
8. Active.
9. Drinks (some).
10. No drugs.
11. Funny.
12. Secure.
13. Wants kids.
14. Self-sufficient.
15. An equal.
16. Happy.
17. Beautiful spirit.
18. Non-smoker/chew. 
Bonus points for:
19. Smells nice.
20. Good smile.
21. Great laugh.
22. No chicken legs.
23. Deep voice.*
24. Non-nose whistler.*
(*An addendum, having recently realized I have a subconscious thing for men with really deep voices. And also the dreaded nose whistler. You know, like when people breath out of their nose and it whistles? I hate that. And snoring...and cracking knuckles, so bonus points for those guys too.)

But, we'll see. All very interesting stuff, I know. Stop the presses!  But curiosities are curious things and we all find strange and random things to do in waiting rooms. I can't tell you how many Highlight magazines I've perused at the dentist's office...Or how much longer I might wait. The last psychic I saw (in October) said 2013 too; two men in December. Sure, December. The chick I saw in February said August and we see how well that turned out - riiiiight.

Now excuse me, I need to choose my outfit for tomorrow night's Air Force gala. Men in dress blues? Don't mind if I do. Tall. Brown hair. Blue eyes., he can wait a bit longer. I've got officers to dance with!