Thursday, February 24, 2011


So, you go years thinking my Polish profile is a little too Polish. And then your deviated septum gets worse and you swear your nose had the growth spurt of a 15 year old boy and you get two birds with one nose breaking stone. Only, they don’t tell you till after the surgery that you can’t sneeze through your nose for six weeks. A little warning would have been nice – some practice time maybe. Who thinks about what they sneeze out of? I’ve always sneezed through my nose, I thought. So this was new – how does one sneeze through solely their mouth, when clearly the cause of a sneeze comes from some bothersome something in your nose? Well, that was a fun one to figure out. Hurts your throat the first few times, but you learn. And then you’re not so terrified of a sneeze for six weeks that you hold your breath and pray it goes away. You learn - without any previous warning or practice - and it all ends up okay. And time passes until you can sneeze normally again.

That was a surprise they didn’t print in the pamphlet.