Friday, February 22, 2013

2012: Swag and the Magic of Tragedy

2012 via Twitter. Because vodka is a memory goblin. Or I'm just a busy girl.

It wasn't. They don't. We did.

If you have followed along for the past 3 years, you'll know already that at times I was downright feeling defeated. And yet, I picked up and carried on, looking forward to the day that Saturn moved out of my sign. If you didn't believe in astrology before - you probably won't now - but this is perhaps the most inarguable documentation of Saturn retrograding through your sign: The incessant teacher of life lessons and self awareness; making you grow from events that seem to almost break you. And then you come through it and - holy shit - you are stronger. More knowledgeable. Ready to root yourself through the next 29 years, sure of yourself as an individual, till she rolls around ruffling up shit again. I imagine, however, that if you learned what you needed to the first time you met this saucy minx, the second time around should be rather smooth sailing. With that said, I want to do a short review of the last year Saturn was moving through my sign this time around. As perhaps the busiest year of my life, it comes with a bit of irony in that I lacked much time to write about it. But it was an experience, for sure.

So let's take a stroll down memory experience lane, as I utilize the aid Twitter (and pics) to fill in the timeline:

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January 2012. After a NYE separated from HG, wherein a kissed another guy at midnight, who actually was PE's roommate and from what I told was convinced he would and tried to take me home, I went back to my life with a guy I was seriously dating while trying not to be so serious. (See: Kissing another dude. We were never "official"; doesn't count.) Next I would go on a ski trip, I orchestrated, inspired by PE's trips he'd done but I was never invited to. (Only snow storm of the season: Weather. Genie.) I learned to stop relying on other people: If I wanted to do something the answer was to just do it. My life is not a waiting room for invitations. Three days before the end of the month, I would - against my own heart's desire - break it off with HG after the worst party bus experience of my life (and an awful hungover monster truck rally). I would hope for him to come back. (Spoiler: He was not coming back.) Swag Meter: 0%.

February 2012. I got my first Passport and booked my tickets to New Zealand within the week after my latest heart-bruiser. In the same day I requested these 18 days off for the trip, I also requested a promotion of sorts. I got both. Heartbreak gives me huge balls.

It's great. Girlfriend N (GFN) would be my Valentine's date. Other friends would judge me during this period for being a hot mess; the ones that didn't, understood my heartache. And I love them for that. Swag Meter 3%.

March 2012. My heart still broken, I was weirdly trying to navigate everything without completely understanding how I remained so crushed about a guy I knew for such a short amount of time. (I would later come to realize that his failed relationship and forced elation of the break (read: I was a distraction) killed my hope that love was real. And even later, come to realize that having jumped ship so quickly re-enforced that I had, in fact, learned and grown from my previous experience with PE - finding myself even referencing this post.) The week prior to St. Patrick's day I would get hit on by some fellers, including the  now infamous Football Guy.

I started to feel good again. For St. Patrick's day, I went to Chicago. It was 80 degrees and sunny. (Weather Genie!) Invited to bottle service: Nice!  Swag Meter: 25%.

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April 2012. I ran the Cherry Blossom Ten Miler, but not before dropping my phone in the middle of the  street while running to the metro at 6am, getting off the metro at the next stop once I realized and running back down to get it, and a cab, then cabbing to the start. As a side: finally started to get my old body back since before that whole Nuva debacle. Then, 2 days later, I went to New Zealand. I WENT TO NEW ZEALAND! Holy shit. (Crap, I still need to share a cute little recap with the Internets. Don't worry, I documented the whole thing in a journal. I shall never forget.) :) Swag Meter: 30%

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May. 10 days after landing, I run a 5k and then a half marathon in Frederick, MD.  Still working through stuff with HG, confused as to why,  but also evaluating my friendships that have sustained or drowned in the latest round of heartstring WTFs. I declare myself ready for silliness. Started kickballing again. Meet the man who pees in my garbage can and saves me from feeling super awkward as I wake up naked. Swag Meter: 40%.

June. Wine fest. Kickball. Lost and recovered phone: Lost phone count: #4. Man memorizes my phone number. "Hey Guy" from March - AKA JSDC - still pings me. Starting to win my swag back. Swag Meter: 60%

July. July was busy. I'm not sure I was home (in DC) for one weekend. Mexico with the GBF; meet some amazing people; do amazing things: Swam with dolphins, snorkled with sea turtles, ziplined through the jungle. :) PA for the twins first birthday. I start training for my next half: Labor Day weekend. Swag Meter: 70%.

Caveat: Suddenly I notice, 1. how much less of detail I gave to twitter last year than 2011. As I know I was barely home, but can't recall where I was and 2. How time is seriously, seriously flying by: Like in 4th grade when I noticed that year went markedly faster than 3rd grade.

August. More training. Dewey! with single friends. We create the "Book Club". I start my short foray into online dating. I went home for my grandmother's 80th birthday; doesn't look a day past 65 (I hope I got those genes!).

I also learned I was going to pop my Las Vegas cherry for work to go to CES in January. Woo. Work makes a 180; starts going well, getting busy. Swag Meter: 75%.

Holy almost heatstroke, batman.
September.Virginia Beach. Ran the half-marathon whose humidity tried to kill me. I go home for four days,  unpack, repack for family vacation in Savannah. I come home - deal with the fact that someone threw a rock through my window - unpack/repack and head to PA for a weekend of friends and college football tailgating. Continue to train for Baltimore half in October. Continue to go on dates from the Internets. Oddly,  helps with swag and, moreover, getting over the awkwardness of (first) dates. Swag Meter: 85%.

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Also, bucketlist check!

October. Celebrate my birthday, wherein I come to find my truest of friends. And realize how important they have really become to me over the years. I sprain my ankle at my birthday but run the half one week later anyway; deem myself tenacious. I begin to swim on account of the orthopedist going: Ya, don't run on that shit (while needing to continue to train for next half in November.) Halloween happens: I sleep in a bed that is not my own - expect nothing from it. Swag Meter: 95%.


November. GFN, GFC and the GBF head to Miami for the RnR Latin Music half marathon. Horrible course; still a sore ankle but a helluva good time in South Beach. Lost/recovered phone count: #5. Ha! This time it was left at a t-shirt shop. We went to a psychic: She said some stuff. Stayed in town for Thanksgiving; went to local aunt's house. Grandparents came down. My grandpap told me to stop going out to bars, that I was going to get in bar fights; not to try to meet a husband at a bar and to find a Jahovah's Witness and be saved. I asked my gram if he was serious "Yea I'm serious!" he said. "Ignore him, he's drunk," she told me. Ha. Alrighty. Swag (aka feeling like myself again) Meter 100%.

December. Insanely busy with work. Holiday partiesy (wherein I shared the same bed as halloween...and everybody knew it.). The flu - displacing my other holiday parties - while working 12 hour days. Got it all done in time for CES. Went home for Christmas for a week - realized 4 days is my family limit. Encountered the WORST NYE of my life and hoped it was just the last of the sadness leaving my body. Despite that: Swag Meter: 100%. :D Yay!

All in all, suppose that NYE was appropriate. The magical part of all the bad stuff is that it can lead to you becoming a better person with better stories and the side-effect of feeling more alive.
 So much sadness leaves room for joy. Here's to joy in 2013.   ::clink::  ::MAKES EYE CONTACT::