Saturday, September 5, 2015

Day 1: Crying down I-70

birds on a wire, over a gas station; somewhere in eastern indiana

My mother called my sister and told my sister I had a meltdown and be nice to me. On account of being back on my own sort of schedule - despite delays - I woke up at 10am to get moving. I unpacked my two main black "dead hooker" duffle bags, removed some more clothes and repacked them...again. Around noon, I was on my way.
Before pulling out of my parents driveway, I wrote a note: "I'm going on an adventure. I will be back. I love you lots and lots" and stuck it to the fridge in the garage. (I wonder if they saw it.) After my meltdown, they both apparently decided I wasn't mentally prepared to go on the trip, my mother told me this morning before leaving for work. "When will I ever be?" I said, as she encouraged me to stay a few more days to get my mind together. Really, all I needed to get was my stuff together - after six months of preparation and packing, the last 3% was driving me mad. And the attitude of peoiple assuming t hat it was all fun and games was all the more frustrating. I need to be more willing to openingly ask for help.  It just seems weird coming from someone willingly giving up their job and securities, but here I am.
I teared up pulling out of the driveway and got about 30 minutes down interstate before I had full blown tears running down my face: A silent sort of crying. I honestly don't k now what it was about. I rarely cry and my friends all know that if they see me crying something is really really wrong. (With the exception of ambulances. When I see all those humans in cars working together to get out of the way of someone in need it just gets me. ...Look we all have our things, okay?) Perhaps I was questioning my intentions and choices. Perhaps I was relieved to be on the way. Perhaps I was sad and scared to be going so far from everything I've ever known. But in just hours it passed. I was nearly through Ohio - a state I thought I was loathe the flat drive through - realizing I was enjoying the drive, even though my car was still doing that shaking thing I'd spent the past seven weeks trying to fix.
Usually I am done after three hours in the car, but after nearly six hours I arrived at my first destination in Indianapolis (to visit my sister and family) aware that I would have been totally content to have kept driving for hour. My sexy orthopedic  pillow sat waiting on the porch. We immediately went to the little carnival across the street with her daughters and now, at 1am, everyone is in bed...and I no longer feel like I'm losing my grip. Whew.

15 comments:

小 Gg said...

christian louboutin
pandora jewelry
canada goose coats
christian louboutin uk
coach outlet
ray ban sunglasses
ray ban sunglasses
parajumpers coats
winter coats
north face jackets
michael kors outlet store
wellensteyn jackets
michael kors wholesale
herve leger outlet
woolrich outlet
ugg boots
cheap uggs
louis vuitton
cheap mlb jerseys
uggs outlet
nobis outlet
cheap ugg boots
hermes belt
beats by dr dre
oakley sunglasses wholesale
michael kors clearance
cheap ugg boots
ray ban sunglasses
michael kors handbags
michael kors handbags
cheng1118

chenlina said...

chenlina20151211
gucci shoes
canada goose jackets
michael kors outlet
polo ralph lauren outlet
jordan retro
ray ban sunglasses outlet
cheap nfl jerseys
cheap air max
ray ban sunglasses outlet
jordan retro 11
jordan 11
michaek kors outlet online
air force 1
coach factory outlet
kids uggs on sale
uggs clearance
instyler max
michael kors outlet
canada goose jackets
p90x
tiffany and co
coach factory outlet
michael kors outlet
louis vuitton outlet
pandora jewelry
oakley sunglasses
coach outlet store online
michael kors outlet
canada goose jackets
lebron shoes
oakley sunglasses
ugg boots for women
air max uk
uggs on sale
oakley sunglasses
michael kors outlet
ugg boots sale
timberland outlet
michael kors handbags
coach outlet
as

oakleyses said...

louis vuitton outlet, tiffany and co, burberry outlet, gucci handbags, louis vuitton, nike outlet, christian louboutin, ugg boots, michael kors outlet, prada outlet, longchamp outlet, nike air max, polo ralph lauren outlet online, kate spade outlet, christian louboutin outlet, prada handbags, ray ban sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, michael kors outlet online, longchamp outlet, burberry handbags, tory burch outlet, christian louboutin shoes, replica watches, cheap oakley sunglasses, michael kors outlet online, tiffany jewelry, longchamp outlet, michael kors outlet online, uggs outlet, michael kors outlet online, oakley sunglasses wholesale, polo outlet, jordan shoes, ray ban sunglasses, uggs outlet, oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, oakley sunglasses, replica watches, uggs on sale, oakley sunglasses, chanel handbags, michael kors outlet, louis vuitton, ugg boots, nike air max

oakleyses said...

sac longchamp pas cher, nike free run, lululemon canada, longchamp pas cher, nike air max uk, kate spade, true religion outlet, sac hermes, polo lacoste, air max, north face, sac vanessa bruno, true religion outlet, louboutin pas cher, coach purses, nike free uk, replica handbags, nike blazer pas cher, timberland pas cher, oakley pas cher, new balance, polo ralph lauren, ray ban uk, true religion jeans, coach outlet store online, michael kors pas cher, vans pas cher, nike air max, nike roshe run uk, nike air max uk, mulberry uk, hollister pas cher, coach outlet, true religion outlet, abercrombie and fitch uk, north face uk, michael kors, michael kors outlet, hogan outlet, hollister uk, nike air force, guess pas cher, ralph lauren uk, nike roshe, burberry pas cher, converse pas cher, ray ban pas cher, michael kors, jordan pas cher

oakleyses said...

soccer shoes, mcm handbags, ipad cases, iphone 6s cases, mac cosmetics, jimmy choo outlet, ralph lauren, iphone 6 cases, north face outlet, nike trainers uk, louboutin, insanity workout, reebok outlet, oakley, new balance shoes, hollister, p90x workout, iphone cases, iphone 5s cases, babyliss, iphone 6 plus cases, instyler, giuseppe zanotti outlet, asics running shoes, nike roshe run, mont blanc pens, soccer jerseys, longchamp uk, north face outlet, chi flat iron, hollister clothing, vans outlet, lululemon, s6 case, nike air max, valentino shoes, iphone 6s plus cases, hermes belt, celine handbags, bottega veneta, timberland boots, ferragamo shoes, baseball bats, ghd hair, beats by dre, abercrombie and fitch, wedding dresses, nfl jerseys, herve leger, nike huaraches

oakleyses said...

karen millen uk, pandora jewelry, moncler, moncler outlet, canada goose outlet, pandora jewelry, moncler, barbour, doudoune moncler, supra shoes, hollister, canada goose, moncler, ugg uk, toms shoes, pandora uk, marc jacobs, converse outlet, canada goose jackets, canada goose uk, links of london, juicy couture outlet, ugg pas cher, moncler, canada goose outlet, doke gabbana, replica watches, canada goose outlet, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, louis vuitton, vans, swarovski, gucci, louis vuitton, wedding dresses, thomas sabo, juicy couture outlet, nike air max, canada goose, ray ban, pandora charms, ugg, moncler uk, montre pas cher, converse, hollister, moncler outlet, louis vuitton, coach outlet, louis vuitton, barbour uk, louis vuitton, swarovski crystal

Hua Cai said...

jordan shoes
air max 90
louis vuitton handbags
louis vuitton pas cher
michael kors online outlet
ralph lauren polo
tory burch outlet
michael kors outlet sale
christian louboutin outlet
jordan shoes
fitflops sale clearance
coach outlet store
kate spade outlet
longchamp handbags
beats by dre
lacoste polo shirts
louis vuitton handbags
cheap mlb jerseys
beats headphones
louis vuitton outlet
mont blanc pens
true religion jeans
cartier outlet
ferragamo shoes
replica watches
oakley sunglasses
louis vuitton outlet
michael kors wallet sale
burberry outlet
louis vuitton outlet store
prada outlet online
nike tn pas cher
louis vuitton outlet online
ralph lauren pas cher
oakley sunglasses
20160601caihuali

dong dong23 said...

nike outlet
adidas ultra boost
coach factory outlet
michael kors canada
jordan shoes
gucci outlet
mont blanc pens
michael kors purses
coach outlet
louis vuitton handbags
coach factory outlet
michael kors outlet
cheap jordans
michael kors outlet online
cheap jordan shoes
coach outlet store online
jordan 3
ray ban sunglasses
louboutin pas cher
fitflops sale clearance
true religion
jordans
louis vuitton outlet
air jordan pas cher
hollister clothing
lebron james shoes
replica watches
coach outlet store online clearances
ray ban sunglasses
replica watches
louis vuitton bags
adidas ultra boost
louis vuitton outlet
christian louboutin shoes
coach outlet
ray ban sunglasses
christian louboutin outlet
adidas shoes
adidas shoes
louis vuitton handbags
20167.27wengdongdong

Eric Yao said...

Ralph Lauren Outlet
Ugg Boots Sale UGGS For Women Skechers Go Walk Adidas Yeezy Boost Adidas Yeezy Adidas NMD Coach Outlet North Face Outlet Ralph Lauren Outlet Puma SneakersPolo Outlet
Under Armour Outlet Under Armour Hoodies Herve Leger MCM Belt Nike Air Max Louboutin Heels Jordan Retro 11 Converse Outlet Nike Roshe Run UGGS Outlet North Face Outlet
Adidas Originals Ray Ban Lebron James Shoes Sac Longchamp Air Max Pas Cher Chaussures Louboutin Keds Shoes Asics Shoes Coach Outlet Salomon Shoes True Religion Outlet
New Balance Outlet Skechers Outlet Nike Outlet Adidas Outlet Red Bottom Shoes New Jordans Air Max 90 Coach Factory Outlet

dada24 Xu said...

nike air max 90
cartier
birkenstock uk
fitflops sale clearance
nike huarache
coach outlet store online
pandora charms
tiffany uk
adidas superstars
adidas superstar white
nike air max 90
louboutin shoes
michael kors outlet
bottega veneta shoes
michael kors outlet online
uggs on sale
mont blanc pens outlet
cheap jordan shoes
michael kors outlet
burberry outlet stores
louboutin pas cher
nhl jerseys wholesale
ugg,uggs,uggs canada
coach factory outlet online
michael kors outlet online
timberland uk
nike shoes for cheap
air jordan shoes
north face outlet
canada goose uk
20160729caiyan

xjd7410@gmail.com said...

moncler paris
adidas nmd
michael kors outlet
ugg boots
michael kors handbags
true religion
asics shoes
cheap oakley sunglasses
ugg uk
ray ban sunglasses
uggs for cheap
adidas yeezy 350
moncler pas cher
true religion outlet
louis vuitton outlet stores
uggs sale
michael kors handbags
louis vuitton outlet
oakley sunglasses
louis vuitton handbags
oakley vault
louis vuitton bags
toms outlet
true religion jeans sale
christian louboutin shoes
ralph lauren polo
christian louboutin outlet
ugg boots
hollister shirts
chenyingying2016813

roshini said...


Sage 50 Support Phone Number
Sage 50 Support Phone Number
Sage 50 Support Number
Sage 50 Tech Support Number
Sage 50 Technical Support Number
Sage 50 Tech Support Phone Number
Sage 50 Technical Support Phone Number
Sage 50 Tech Support Number
Sage 50 Technical Support Number
Sage 50 Tech Support Phone Number
Sage 50 Technical Support Phone Number

Soni yadav said...


Aol Technical Support Phone Number
Aol Technical Support Number
Aol Tech Support Number
Aol Tech Support phone Number
Aol Support Number
Aol Support phone Number
Outlook Technical Support Phone Number
Outlook Technical Support Number
Outlook Tech Support Number
Outlook Tech Support Phone Number
Outlook Support Number
Outlook Support Phone Number

Anjilo Jilo said...

Quicken Support Phone Number
Quicken Support Phone Number
Quicken Support Number
Quicken Tech Support Number
Quicken Tech Support Phone Number
Quicken Technical Support Number
Quicken Technical Support Phone Number
Quicken Technical Support Number
Quicken Tech Support Phone Number
Quicken Tech Support Number

mohan kumar said...

Quickbooks Support Phone Number
Quickbooks Enterprise Support Phone Number
Quickbooks Enterprise Tech Support Number
Quickbooks Enterprise Support Number
Quickbooks Enterprise Technical Support Number
Quickbooks Enterprise Tech Support Phone Number
Quickbooks Enterprise Technical Support Phone Number
Quickbooks Enterprise Help Desk Phone Number
Quickbooks Enterprise Help Desk Number
Quickbooks Enterprise Customer Service Number
Quickbooks Enterprise Customer Service Phone Number
Quickbooks Enterprise Customer Support Number
Quickbooks Enterprise Customer Support Phone Number