Wednesday, October 31, 2012

The Difference Between Hope and Faith (and butterflies)

This guy friend; we've known each other for a while, but only recently began to put time into building a friendship. We're similar in the sense that we're particular who we fancy and date with purpose and reason and that neither of us have found someone recently who has made us feel that purpose. Today, we had a conversation. In speaking about past relationships, this is part of it:

me:  ya. your biggest mistake will be your greatest asset. 
ER:  So how do you get around biggest mistake is biggest asset??? Vicious circle much? 
me:  hahaha. there is no circumventing. everything you've gone through just takes you where you need to be. you have to deal. 
ER:  Haha.As silly as this is I see tons of parallels to HIMYM me:  as silly as what is?
ER: Summation: Meets/dates plenty of girls who are close but not quite right ... Loses faith along the way ... Holds out hope that it's out there. 
me:  Ya. We're the Ted fuckin Mosby's of the world. it sucks. but the story is awesome.if it makes you feel any better, i thought I was getting married in my early 20s, i was most upset that i never got to collect any "stories". so consider it a good thing. : ) 
ER:  Non parallel to show to is the one thing that keeps me going is watching my step dad (father) treat my mom the same way after 25 years ... He worships the ground that she walks on 
me:  I want THAT. And I"m holding out for it. I'm so glad you say it exists. 
Because sometimes I'm not so sure. 
ER:  It does... But it's not always appreciated... 
me:  I want that kind of love that when he dies, I die. No matter how long I live. 
ER:  Yes 
me:  I'm told I'm overreaching with this desire. I'm not sure I care. Anything else would feel like settling. 
ER:  Agreed .... And that's while ill be happier than everyone else .... Some people don't care .. I do. 
me:  I care about it probably more than anything. You can take anything away from me and as long as I have true love, I'll be happy. I've thought this for as long as I can remember. Some people don't believe in soul mates. I absolutely do. There is destiny and fate as much as there is hope and faith.

Faith lets us hold out for - and on to - the things hope lets us desire. I hope that kind of love exists for me. I will wait, because I have faith that it does. 


Earlier, on a somewhat related topic - concerning dating this guy I'm not sure about:

C: why do you worry about it?
me: cause i don't want to waste his time
C: well isn't any relationship that doesn't end in marriage a "waste of time"? I mean, it's not, but all the same, you never know when you're in it.  
me: not if it teaches you something; takes you somewhere else. but what if you go into that knowing it.
C: well you'd probably never go into relationships. that's where not knowing in life is the best.
me: "there's something about you i dont like and i can't put my finger on it so chances are if i can't pin point it, its staying"
C: that's how you feel about him?
me: on sunday, yea.
C: hmm. well you are a libra. and you will go back and forth
me: not when there's certainty
C: right but what gives you that certainty?
me: butterflies.