Thursday, September 3, 2009


Echo Delta fluffs Oprah Arms. No one wants to see that. Hypothetically.

It’s remarkable how some men boys people will take what is available over what is amazing. We go to the grocery store now to buy our eggs rather than caring for the chickens ourselves. We buy scarves instead of taking the time to knit them ourselves. Have we, as a society, become so lazy that we prefer things that just throw themselves at us, rather than what is better and better for us; regardless of cost to our person, our health or our egos?

If an Ugly Betty wants to throw herself all over a Decent Looking Dude, and said Decent goes for it, then lies about it; perhaps it proves, then, that those two belong together - while he lies to her face that she’s pretty and tells a Good Girl that no one else exists. It’s too bad that quality people, in their infinite beauty and wisdom, are well aware of such lies. And will use that. And possibly fuck with liars. Possibly. Oops. Next time practice your lie tell the truth. If you want to diddle the maid, okay, just own it, my friend. Own it.

I heard of a study in Grad school that suggested that in the future, the distant future, there will be two groups of people left in the world: The Attractive & Smart and The Stupid & Ugly. Kind of like this. Only an actual study (though I couldn’t even begin to think of how to Google that, but kudos if you can find it) and not everyone’s stupid and ugly.

No lie, I’m nominating myself for the Attractive & Smart group. (And I'm very picky both with attractiveness and brains in the opposite sex when it comes to commitment, so I think I'm good.) It seems appropriate that this group would be more willing to work towards a quality partnership rather than just laying there waiting for someone to fondle their genitals. (Too soon?) So, in the meantime, I think I’ll sit back and laugh at the boys and girls who make out in a crowded bar, IN A BAR, and applaud those who are actually willing to put time into something and not settle for anything less than perfect. I’d rather be alone, than be with sub par. Others, apparently not - perhaps it's self nomination for the Ugly & Stupid group? Maybe their mothers didn’t raise them right. Maybe they seek attention and not affection. Or maybe they just haven’t grown up yet. Idiocracy suggests we wait and see.

In the meantime, I’ll need to make some Attractive & Smart friends so my hypothetical children will have some kids to play with someday. Gotta counter the growing idiocracy.

I kid. I kid.


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