Thursday, August 16, 2012

Ego Fluffed, Stigma and All

This entire thing is so much more entertaining than I originally anticipated. And talking about it with my friends gives it an added bonus of entertainment and comparisons. And having guys in the "Book Club" who have dated both solely offline and on/offline has given me some very interesting insight.

I have been on for about a week now. I have had about 75 people message me and countless others judge view my profile. It's a little weird to think that all of these people are out there, looking at what you have to say, but so far the response is almost all positive: You're hot; you're pretty; you're obviously beautiful; your pictures are really entertaining; you seems like a really cool girl; your profile is great; you're one of my favorite people on here. Hello and my ego is fluffed.

Granted, some of these men look like their faces got caught in a drain; others are too young, too old, some are way too short. However, it's nice to hear. It's nice to get a little virtual validation from people who are judging me from what I have to say and not just who I am at a bar on Saturday night; that I'm all of these wonderful, interesting (and attractive) things once judged beyond the exterior. Seriously, who doesn't love that? (Be real. Saying you don't like positive, affirming attention is like saying you have never picked your nose. We are human - and there's a reason your finger is the same size as your nostril.)

Sure, there have been a few guys that will message me, I message back and then crickets, but lets be real - this is online dating, it's not real. It's an entertaining way to see that even though you go to the bars and give up and think that everyone that's attractive is douche or that everyone normal is taken, it's not true. There are other people out there just as lost as you.

There are also a lot of people that look like the typical person you expect to find from online dating. On Tuesday I had a guy message me "hi let's meet for tea", who I described as "his face looks like his lips got in a fight with his penis pump and lost". That's mean!, you might say, Internet World, but, come on, he can't hear me. This part is half the fun.

So far I've had one troll. He was 44. His only insult was to call me 35. Men are idiots. If the only insult you can think of is to tell me I look older than I am, then I'm doing something very, very right. Pick on something I'm insecure about and you might get to me, but my age - no, I'm 28. Fact. That's not subjective, sir.

All in all, so far I'm glad I sucked it up and signed up. It's teaching me a lot about interpersonal relationships: Both online and offline, from both the online community and talking about it with the "Book Club" members. And I know there's a stigma, but I think this is the perfect time to add this chapter to my story because I'm not seeking anything serious; it's just for shits and giggles...and ego fluffs.

It's interesting and entertaining (until I get bored with it and ADD on). And I thought the other night that maybe it will help me improve job/interview skills, because it forces practices of conditions I'm uncomfortable with. I suck at interviews - and one of the Veteran male BC members says each first meeting is just an interview, "not a date".

So then, here we are, practicing for life. Let's make it fun. Stigma and all.