Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Psychic and the Book

I've taken a hiatus. It was an accident. It’s summer. And I started to write a book. About our 20s and every up and down and no-one-tells-you-what-the-fuck-is-going-on you are not alone totally relatable tale...and I give you no more details because, honestly, I think it's a good idea. And so do older generations. And something I learned throughout my 20s - they know what the fuck they're talking about. And despite having lost my phone yet again last week - and getting it back...again - my faith in humanity is probably not as high as it should be. Last year was a rough one, so I'll probably blame that for the next 5.5 months.

But when I thought about it for a minute, this idea of writing a book (and wondering who would read it) - I remembered something the psychic said back in October while visiting NYC. Among the many details of the reading, she told me to write. That was the first time in the 30 minutes of sitting in that room I wasn't completely enthralled with the things she was saying. I mean, as soon as I walked into her little basement room in the middle of Chelsea, it vibrated...and then, after placing a crystal over my hand, she began to "read" it and immediately spout out exactly the top I had just been discussing with my friend prior to going: Huh. Palm reading? 10 dollars? Want to?

I had just been telling him about my anti-cover letter. And how I didn't want to limit myself career-wise. When I sat down she began with something similar: Explaining that I had my "hands in lots of cookie jars, but it's not a bad thing; I just like to do a lot of different things not not limit myself". Comforting, I thought. I still stayed silent and she went on.

The following week - the week before Halloween - I chatted with my mother and a few others, sharing what the psychic had said. Next time I’m taking a tape recorder, but here’s what I gathered from my saved chats:

On Intuition:
she also said that my 3rd eye was very open.
and, without me saying anything, that i need to trust my intuition.
that was one of the first things she said: to trust my intuition because it's very good.
she said that my 3rd eye is open for myself, as well as picking up on the energy of those around me. she said that i have a very strong aura and then prefaced next statement with: don't take this the wrong way or as a bad thing “but it attracts weak people to you".

On Love:
which then lead her into my next love...she said he'll be weak, but he won't always be that way.
and that that's how we connect or meet: that he's coming from being broken in his previous relationship.
coming out of a relationship, he'll be in a bad place and i'll help him and it will develop. (sounds not great. haha. but typical.) i guess i help him. he gets himself back; he's not always weak.
and we'll have a deep love that isn't happy on the outside and unhappy on the inside: it's real, not superficial. she said he is no where near me; she said i'll meet him in 2013; that we would be friends first; that we would have two children. (but she didn't say anything about marriage. idk if that was intentional or not.) she added that my second pregnancy would come with a complication; the baby would be fine, but during the pregnancy I would feel something was wrong and to trust myself and not everyone else telling me it was normal. She also said that that we'll push and pull one another; that we challenge one another, but in a good way.

On Writing:
although i don't think she used the word "challenge" [for the love], but she did use the word "challenge" when referring to writing. she made a specific point about writing: she told me i need to challange my writing. that i can write - and it's not a taught thing - but that i need to do more with it. and i can make money off of it.
i didn't really understand. She continued and said i have a lot of creative energy but need to explore it more and make more time of it. She was extremely clear on this point - despite my total bewilderment: Challenge your writing; it can make you money. (And I think she mentioned "the next six months".)

She also said I'll move some time next year (this was one of the first things she said and I didn't say anything to her before we started) and i'll stay there for about 3 years - which, at the time I was heavily considering, if not decided upon. So when I left, I was stunned by how accurate the reading was. How many nails she hit on the head. We were both so impressed with the reading, that we went to another $10 psychic later that night near Times Square. That one was short, but accurate: she did said I'd lost someone close to me, I was planning travel and that I've been going thru a long period of struggle but in the months ahead she sees things getting better and better. Oh. And money. She said i'll come into money.

I had lost someone, yes. I had just gone through a long period of intense struggle, yes. And from those months had just learned - or rather the universe had smacked me upside the head - to trust my intuition because it had be right about the PE all along. I did end up coming into money, but in a strange way where really I didn’t but it was a valid vision and the better months that followed where right. I had a wonderful few months with that guy I met at a Halloween party, who I had started talking to because he was in a weak place and I drunkenly ended up helping out of a broken relationship. And while I laughed at her saying I was planning travel and told her I wasn’t. She said I would. Four months later I had purchased my roundtrip tickets to New Zealand - because my heart was broken by said guy.

Impressive, no?

But then there was still this lingering mentions of writing. She was so insistent on the writing piece. I was inquisitive because I don’t write - aside from this blog. I don’t write for my job, really. I don’t make any money writing. “Maybe I’ll do freelance copy editing for websites,” I said with inquisitive inflection. She didn’t know, she just told me to challenge my writing. To feed it and I could make money off of it. She was unrelenting despite my skepticism. And months later, after I had confused the “challenge” to be referring to the “love” I would find, I went back to look at the chats to see what the psychic had mentioned about writing. The “challenge” was for writing, not my great love (though implied we would force one another to grow, but that it would be a good thing). And I laugh because what if, just what if I write this book and someone cares? What if I really can make money off of writing?

I’m going for it. The psychics have been too accurate thus far (though I really can’t see myself allowing me to be dragged through another person’s failed relationship and falling for them). And there has to be a reason for all these stories, for my desire for them. I guess we’ll find out.

So, then, now it's real: I’m writing a book. It may seem self-important. It may seem far-fetched. But I really believe in it. And my forgotten reading confirmed that maybe, just maybe, I can do this. And it will be good. I guess sometimes we need a stranger (to believe in us in order) to believe in ourselves.