Thursday, October 17, 2013

There One Where My Friend Pooped in a Bag

I've had an inquiry or two regarding a part of my last entry, wherein I was made to feel more normal about wearing my thong backwards all day long (which is, by no means the strangest thing I've done) because of something a friend had done. And was then given permission to share the story anonymously. So here goes:

There are many awesome things about being single and 30ish. There are also some crappy things about being single and 30ish. Pun intended - because my friend pooped in a bag.

She what?!

She pooped in a bag. In her bedroom. And then sat with it for 20 minutes until her roommates left. And then put it in the neighbor's trash.

But why?!

Because when you're single and mostly broke, you have to deal with roommates. Roommates, man. And that means you usually share a bathroom. I realize this isn't information people typically share and some people might gasp in disgust, but the really interesting ones will go: "I have story like that..."

Those are the people that I want to be my friend.

In a group text with beloved girlfriends - who are clearly soul mates, especially considering our love is mostly long distance and we have the weirdest how-we-met - I was called to attention.

"Present," I announced, and on she went:

And then we peed our pants laughing at her.
Just kidding - we exercise our kegals.

I know, whiskey tango foxtrot, right?! Clearly not her finest hour, but this was all relatively normal conversation for this group. Relatively. Although this happened last week and we're still laughing about her "shame spiral". Because life is gross; life is funny - and these two things are not mutually exclusive. These things really happen.

Our text logs read like the stuff of "legend"? But it's true; full of gut-wrenching, holy-shit-people-admit-this-stuff-shame-is-made-of. But it isn't shame once you own it; once you own it, it's just a good drunk story to tell. I wish more people admitted more things nobody wants to admit. (I wonder if modest people are lonely.) Kind of like admitting we're failing: Once you admit it, you learn everyone else around you has failed too - and you're not alone anymore. There's comfort in the admission of the uncomfortable. And I love that I have friends with whom to share in this kind of ridiculousness.

So you pooped in a bag? Laugh it off! And more importantly, share it with your friends so they can laugh at with you.