Monday, July 11, 2011

50 Qs

1.       How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? 20 something. My friend's grandmother once said it was the most challenging  (hardest) years of your life. So I'm somewhere in there.
2.      Which is worse, failing or never trying? Never trying. Totally guilty.
3.      If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Money.
4.      When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? It’s not done yet. Ask me when I’m dead.
5.       What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? That so few people hold so much power, and so many people are powerless.
6.      If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you richImproving the lives of others. Helping others.
7.       Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? Settling. Right now it’s about survival. (And "stories".)
8.      If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? "Love" would be relegated to “good enough” instead of “happily ever after”.
9.      To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? 90 degrees. I don’t know.
10.   Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? Doing the right things right.
11.    You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do? Tell them. I would only ever admire someone that was as honest and forthcoming as I try to be. They would respect me for protecting my friend and likely apologize. The conversation would move on to more positive things. Lord knows why anyone I would respect and admire so much would be gossiping in the first place.
12.   If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? (Just) Breath.
13.   Would you break the law to save a loved one? What law? What loved one? Save them from what? Probably.
14.   Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? Yes. I find them often intertwined entities. 
15.    What’s something you know you do differently than most people? Think (logically, usually – my train of thoughts is many directions) – especially about math.
16.   How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? We’re all different.
17.    What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back? Get married/have kids.  Life, myself and the lack of “lasting true love”. And experience and modern medicine, so I am in no rush.
18.   Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Yup, probably.
19.   If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? Closer to my family, somewhere with adventure, or lots of nice weather. All three would be great.
20.  Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? Sometimes. No. Unless the elevator is in the ghetto…or my office building.
21.   Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? Simpleton.
22.  Why are you, you? Who else would I be?
23.  Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? Yes. I. Have.
24.  Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? Both suck. But the latter is just silly apathy.
25.   What are you most grateful for? Love.
26.  Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? Lose the old.
27.   Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first? Yea.
28.  Has your greatest fear ever come true?  No?
29.  Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now? Matter in the way that it has affected the outcome of my life to this point? Yes, it totally mattered, but for the better.
30.  What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special? I’m not sure I have one. There were moments, but usually clouded by something else. Trips with my grandparents were great; I’ll pick all of those. They veiled the other parts of life and opened our eyes to small adventures and different places.
31.   At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? When I was terrified of falling in love. I should have just let go of every insecurity and fallen. But I didn’t and now I wonder "what if". Lesson learned, I suppose.
32.  If not now, then when? Later. Procrastination 101. Duh.
33.  If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? Self assurance? And a goal...though I suppose you could just create a new goal.
34.  Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? See question 31.
35.   Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? The universe is paradoxical.
36.  Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil? No. The funny thing about evil is that it probably seems like the best thing in the world – until you get burned. It’s the good stuff we always sit there questioning when we shouldn’t.
37.   If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? This job? Probably. But I would still work.
38.  Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing? Absolutely 1000% choice B.
39.  Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before? Yea. Sometimes.
40.  When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? Never. My convictions are much like my talents: Waiting to emerge.
41.   If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? Family. Do they know too? We’d all be together – eat pierogies. Drink vodka and wine.
42.  Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? No. Both appear to be more of a curse.
43.  What is the difference between being alive and truly living? One breathes. The other inhales life in all it’s glory.
44.  When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? When doing what’s right can still pay my student loans every month so the government doesn’t throw me in jail.
45.   If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? Learning is painful and difficult. We don’t make mistakes to learn, we learn from mistakes so we have a reason to move forward and not be mad at ourselves. Or repeat said mistakes.
46.  What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? Moot point: I would judge me.
47.   When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? When my nose whistles. IN the middle of a deep, soft and private conversation. Hey there, awkward timing.
48.  What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? Love. No. Kinda.
49.  In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that? I will remember it as an entire year of learning and making it through this ebb. Life goes by moments and waves, not days and specifics.
50.  Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? The government has me by the school loan balls. Unless you are completely un-law-abiding, someone is always making a decision for you. Where your money goes. If you want to stop at that intersection. Even vegabonds aren’t as free as they’d like to think. I feel stagnant; it’s half my fault, half not. 

Huh. I don't feel free. Do I get my money back? Oh, the internet is free?