Hi, if you tried to have a child, you would likely die from the pain. And your body can’t do or endure half the things mine can. Can you bleed for five days and not die? I DIDN'T THINK SO.
Anyway, last night he finally realized that it’s much more expensive to be female than male. Um…yes. I almost wanted to hug him. Almost. Maybe he’s progressing. Will he next admit that women are a minority and are not treated equally in the United States? (I did get him to admit that female genital mutilation is a problem. Sigh.) Probably not...and we're currently ranking 17th in gender equality. 17th!
As women, we have so many more costs to living and just in case you were previously unaware (see above), I'll give you a few examples:
- Make-up: Catch me in the morning if you don’t think this is a necessity – and it’s proven that attractive people get further in life and careers, so there.
- Tampons’n’at: Oh, sorry, I mean “feminine hygiene products” – trust me, this is not the area to go cheap.
- Bras: $45 for this?!
- Gutchies: Trust me, we can’t buy the ones in the packs at k-mart like guys can and get away with it. So it’s at least $5 a pair ($12+ for the sexy, fancy ones), unless you are are feeling cheap and Target is an almost manageable $3, but still, men get away with underwear with holes in the asses and broken elastic; if a girl does that, he takes his holey-assed undies out the door. Plus, we just don’t do that…most of the time.
- Bathing Suits: Women’s suits are overpriced, especially if you can’t fit into the ones you can buy at Target that I swear would only fit a mid-pubescent teen. (Exactly what portion of my breast would you like me to put that over?!). Let’s do a quick comparison: Men’s: $30, and even cheaper at Marshall’s. Oh, medium? Done! And Women’s: $80+, which not only has to deal with the size of the bottom, but the size, molding, etc. of the top. And it will likely never fit right and she'll have to buy it online anyway if she's over a C cup. Awesome...and you have to buy them separate if you buy online. Double awesome!
- Birth Control: Now if this doesn’t show you the inequality in America, I don’t know what will. Many girls use the pill to alleviate cramps, some use it to clear up their skin and a lot use it for the intended purpose. But why, if it can be used for medical (debilitating cramps) and combating pregnancy (hi, where’s my tax money going?) is this not covered by insurance. Insurance covers Viagra - so we have more men who can get women pregnant, but not birth control - to help prevent unwanted pregnancies. What is it, $30, $60, $90 a month, $50 for Plan B...a few hundred for an IUD? The government should pay us for being responsible. If birth control for women, which has been around for decades, isn’t covered, than why is the birth un-control for men, which has been around since, what? the 90’s, covered? How’s that for sexual inequality?!
- Annual Gynecological Visits: Men don’t have to get an annual anything until they need their prostates checked over what? 40? Women have to start at 17 now. And earlier if they’re sexually active (because men can pass all kinds of STDs that essentially do nothing to them on to all their partners unknowingly and they don’t have an annual appointment to keep to know. Awesome squared.)
So, to all the men - and my roommate, who eloquently stated that men only buy drinks for girls at bars in the hope of taking them home - perhaps you should rethink your reasoning for buying a girl a drink or dinner. Opening a door is nice and all, but seriously, when it all comes down to it – half of what we spend money on is for you (I mean, we could wear the holey undies) and we still make less. And we only got to vote in this last century. And did I mention we MAKE LIFE?!
No really, guys, you can pick up a check. Seriously. It's okay. And with good reason. It’s expensive to be female. And let’s not make it weird. Like, this whole awkward, who’s-gonna-pay-for-dinner conversation didn’t exist 50 years ago. Just because we’re allowed an education and careers doesn’t mean the world is equal, especially financially. I mean, I find it hard to let someone pay for me - I’m independent and stubborn - but I’m willing to learn!
I’m a feminist and I’m all for it. Whoever decided splitting a check equals equality between the sexes is a moron. (Good job, men.) Go ahead, you pick up the check … I need a new bathing suit.
...I'm moving to Sweden.