Thursday, March 4, 2010

Compulsive Lateness

I was late being born.

My mother had to be induced because I was two weeks late. She would have had me on a Friday, but she had a headache…so she waited till Monday. Perhaps it's the reverse effects of Pitocin that makes induced babies late from then on. Maybe it’s genetic: My biological parents are both late people, which made switching kids for visitation weekends interesting - I think they eventually tried to out-late each other...we spent a lot of time sitting in cars. Perhaps it’s a Libra thing – I’ve read that before. Or maybe it’s a mental disorder. But being perpetually late is not a choice.

For years I’ve been aware of my tardiness. For years it has gotten me into some trouble. I almost lost my job at Bob Evans. (When you work at Big Bob’s you have to clock into the system no more than 3 minutes after shift start or a manager has to over-ride you. If you are tardy more than 5 times, you are canned. I started to run in without my shoes on, and then I got yelled at for that.) I know, right, I mean, Bob Evans - that’s huge! In high school I was always late. Being late for homeroom meant detention, but I devised a way to get out of that: When running late I would stop at McDonald's and grab a coffee and cinnamon bun for the attendance guy on my way to school. Never had detention again. In college I was always late to class, I had to shmooze my way into it being okay. And in my job, with our flex hours, which is lucky - but that just means show up at the latter part of flexing and work late into the evening.

Yes, I find it personally frustrating that I am chronically tardy. I don’t like to rush around. I don’t like the anxiety that creates. I know I only leave myself just enough time to get where I'm going, but I also don’t know how to fix it. If I get up earlier, I’m just as tardy. If I start to try to get ready earlier, I lose something and have to take time to find it. And in the off chance I’m early, whoever I’m going to see is late…I swear, happens every time. And then it seems like a waste of time.

In seeking a foundation for my frustration for this lack of understanding of, what I refer to as, Compulsive Lateness, I found a few links to information on what they call “chronic lateness”. Very few. Why is this something that is never talked about? The few threads I found are overrun with comments and the one book on chronic lateness is sold out on Amazon.

Wait. What? Totally obscure book? Yes, sold out. I’m sensing an untapped market here. Someone call Ron Popeil!

Alcoholism? An acceptable disease.
OCD? Oh man, that must suck; help me understand your rituals. Let’s explore your anxiety. 
Drug addict? Aw. Sad for you – what trauma did you have in your life.
Depression? A growing epidemic: Everyone swallow meds!
Anxiety? Oh, you don’t feel so good (yea, me neither). Panic attack!
ADD? Loud kids are no longer punished, but heavily medicated. And as adults, ADD is sometimes laughed at – but my entire generation is plagued. Let’s commiserate.

I have the last two of these. To what degree? I don’t know. I’m in the thought of: Our ancestors were fine, I’ll find a way to deal and P.S. I’m broke and have bad insurance. In the few links (and here and here) I did find on chronic lateness, it is said to be linked to both anxiety (Hi there, My Head) and ADD (Hello again)…like I needed those two correlations to help prove my compulsion.

In reading those articles I found myself going “yes”, “yes”…”uh-oh” and “yes”. Obviously it’s some type of psychological disorder; I just want to know why it’s not discussed or studied (beyond a college documentary) or understood. And why there's no help. It’s so wide-spread the book is sold out and yet instead of the responses you get with the ailments listed above, you just get anger, frustration and misunderstanding. I DON’T LIKE IT EITHER. And yes, I would please like some help. Anyone, anyone? No? Okay, keep judging me, and, while you’re at it, pop some more pills for your restless leg syndrome (there's a fucking foundation!) and chronic dry eye.

I think I'm missing out on a huge business opportunity here...

Meanwhile, I'm going keep trying to fix it on my own...but I swear the world is 10 minutes ahead.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

We'll find a cure for you yet, hun

-The Doppleganger

PS Set a music alarm to Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus, I would be out of bed destroying my alarm faster than a chocolate cake at a weightwatchers convention

Anonymous said...

I, too, suffer from this condition - your blog could have been written about me! Mostly late, seldom "in the nick of time", rarely early. Rush rush rush, praying I don't get into car accidents, get speeding tickets, get spurned, or get fired. A theory, if you will: us "special" folk paradoxically live in an alternate universe while simultaneously living in this reality which causes time dilations, or discrepancies, as our attention/observation wavers back and forth, wreaking havoc with our sense of time, and so causing chronic lateness. We don't notice the switching of realities because there apparently are an infinite amount of realities that range from being slightly different to completely opposite, like where Ghandi enslaves India - we're not going to that one.

Yeah.

This is the only thing that has ever come close to making any sense.

But seriously, time is a man-made construct. It doesn't really exist.

-Space Cadette

p.s. i am not crazy or high.

Cellar Door said...

...just late

mao qiuyun said...

ralph lauren outlet, http://www.ralphlaurenoutlet.in.net/
futbol baratas, http://www.futbol-baratas.com/
oakley sunglasses, http://www.oakleysunglasses-outlet.us.com/
lululemon outlet, http://www.lululemonoutletstore.in.net/
ray ban sunglasses, http://www.raybansunglass.co.uk/
ray ban sunglasses, http://www.raybansunglass.com.au/
north face jackets, http://www.thenorthfaces.in.net/
coach outlet online, http://www.coachoutletonline.in.net/
ralph lauren, http://www.poloralphlaurenoutlet.it/
oakley sunglasses, http://www.wholesaleoakleysunglasses.us.com/
true religion jeans, http://www.truereligionjean.in.net/
pandora jewelry, http://www.pandorajewelryoutlet.us.com/
louis vuitton handbags, http://www.louisvuittonhandbags.org.uk/
swarovski outlet, http://www.swarovski-outlet.co.uk/
tory burch outlet, http://www.toryburchoutletonline.in.net/
oakley sunglasses wholesale, http://www.oakleysunglasseswholesale.us.com/
nike huarache, http://www.nike-airhuarache.co.uk/
hollister uk, http://www.hollistershirts.co.uk/
oakley outlet, http://www.oakleyoutlet.in.net/
michael kors handbags, http://www.michaelkorshandbag.co.uk/
oakley sunglasses, http://www.oakleysunglassesdiscount.us.com/
louis vuitton handbags, http://www.louisvuittonhandbagsoutlet.co.uk/
ray ban sunglasses, http://www.ray-bansunglassess.in.net/
dansko outlet, http://www.dansko-shoes.us/
coach outlet, http://www.coachoutletstores.com.co/
ray ban sunglasses, http://www.ray-bansunglasses.eu.com/
air max 2014, http://www.airmax2014.net/
cheap nba jerseys, http://www.nbajerseys.net/
0922maoqiuyun

小 Gg said...

coach outlet online
cheap nba jerseys
coach outlet
black friday 2015
michael kors handbags
futbol baratas
nike air force 1
cheap mlb jerseys
ugg outlet
michael kors outlet
wedding dresses
toms shoes
uggs clearance
true religion jeans
swarovski crystal
true religion jeans
ralph lauren outlet
designer handbags
chanel handbags
longchamp outlet
karen millen dresses
ray ban sunglasses
cyber monday 2015
gucci
links of london
louis vuitton outlet
tiffany outlet
michael kors uk
michael kors handbags clearance
canada goose jackets
cheng1118

chenlina said...

chenlina20151211
coach factory outlet
cheap uggs
mont blanc pens
uggs sale
mulberry handbags
cheap uggs
louis vuitton outlet
coach factory outlet
soccer shoes
ugg australia
ugg sale
true religion outlet
michael kors outlet online
canada goose coats
ugg slippers
beats by dre
abercrombie
official coach factory outlet
uggs on sale
oakley outlet
coach outlet
oakley outlet
fitflops sale clearance
christian louboutin
nike air max
coach outlet online
north face jackets
coach outlet store online
michael kors outlet online
michael kors handbags
cheap uggs
toms wedges
louis vuitton purses
ugg sale
cheap jordans
ray ban sunglasses outlet
michaek kors outlet
jordan concords
louis vuitton bags
lebron 11
as

方松腾 said...

TEN0407
babyliss flat iron
mulberry handbags
longchamp handbags
mulberry handbags
michael kors uk
mulberry handbags
hollister uk
tiffany jewellery
oakley sunglasses uk
fitflops uk
fitflops shoes
ralph lauren outlet
ralph lauren pas cher
tiffany and co
oakley sunglasses wholesale
hollister shirts
tiffany outlet
hollister shirts
coach outlet store
mulberry sale
oakley sunglasses
oakley sunglasses wholesale
ray ban sunglasses
oakley sunglasses
hollister clothing
kate spade handbags
burberry outlet online
coach outlet online
true religion jeans
burberry outlet

Hua Cai said...

michael kors outlet
longchamp outlet online
louis vuitton handbags
ralph lauren polo
michael kors outlet uk
cheap jordans
fitflops sale clearance
gucci sunglasses uk
coach outlet online
mlb jerseys
coach factory outlet
tory burch outlet online
kobe bryant shoes
coach outlet
rolex watches
coach outlet
michael kors handbags clearance
michael kors outlet store
tiffany and co
camisetas futbol baratas
cheap nfl jersey
ralph lauren polo
adidas outlet
true religion outlet
oakley sunglasses
christian louboutin shoes
michael kors bags
mulberry bags
longchamp handbags
oakley sunglasses
beats by dr dre
nike air force 1
fitflops uk
nfl jersey wholesale
ray ban sunglasses sale
20160601caihuali

dong dong23 said...

designer handbags
michael kors handbags
michael kors outlet
coach outlet
nfl jerseys wholesale
coach outlet store online
cheap jerseys
nike air jordan
replica watches for sale
ralph lauren sale
rolex watches
louis vuitton handbags
air jordan 13
cheap ray ban sunglasses
michael kors outlet
michael kors handbags
lebron james shoes 13
cheap jordans
tory burch outlet
michael kors outlet clearance
louis vuitton bags
timberland outlet
cheap ray ban sunglasses
gucci handbags
louis vuitton handbags
adidas trainers
ray ban sunglasses
jordan shoes
cheap jordans
coach outlet
ralph lauren outlet
hermes handbags
michael kors outlet
coach outlet
adidas originals shoes
adidas originals
nike outlet store
coach outlet
louis vuitton handbags
20167.27wengdongdong

xjd7410@gmail.com said...

tod's shoes
toms shoes
abercrombie and fitch
cheap jerseys
true religion jeans
hermes handbags
rolex submariner watches
kate spade handbags
michael kors outlet
jordan 3 white cenment
ralph lauren outlet
coach canada
coach factory outlet online
ralph lauren uk
adidas yeezy
louis vuitton outlet
louis vuitton outlet
ugg outlet
pandora outlet
tommy hilfiger outlet
ugg outlet store
louis vuitton handbags
mlb jerseys
michael kors outlet online
asics outlet
nike outlet store
insanity workout
chenyingying2016813

xumeiqing said...

20161117meiqing
abercrombie and fitch outlet
nmd adidas
longchamp
toms shoes outlet
burberry outlet
louboutin uk
cheap jordans
oakley sunglasses
ray ban sunglasses
longchamp bags

姚嘉 said...

ugg boots
toms outlet
michael kors handbags cheap
michael kors outlet
gucci outlet
canada goose outlet
dolphins jerseys
denver broncos jerseys
oakley sunglasses sale
golden state warriors

chenlina said...

chenlina20161221
coach outlet
ray ban sunglasses
michael kors
louis vuitton outlet
pittsburgh steelers jerseys
canada goose jackets
ralph lauren polo
cheap jordans
gucci outlet
kate spade outlet

raybanoutlet001 said...

vera bradley
nike zoom
true religion uk
adidas neo
クロムハーツ
michael kors handbags
http://www.nikedunks.us.org
tiffany and co
retro jordans
tiffany jewelry

xumeiqing said...

fit flops
ugg boots
pandora uk
fitflops shoes
kd 9 shoes
michael kors bags
gucci outlet
canada goose outlet
christian louboutin
nike free run flyknit
20170228meiqing

dong dong23 said...

tory burch outlet
coach outlet
oakley sunglasses outlet
cheap oakley sunglasses
nike running shoes
longchamp handbags
hermes bags
le coq sportif chaussures
adidas ultra boost
reebok shoes
20173.17wengdongdong

shengda xu said...

true religion jeans outlet
michael kors outlet online
coach outlet store
louis vuitton outlet online
louis vuitton outlet online
polo ralph lauren outle
fitflops
fitflops sale clearance
fake rolex watches
toms shoes
xushengda0331

dong dong23 said...

coach factory outlet online
oakley outlet
pandora charms
louis vuitton outlet online
ralph lauren outlet
birkenstock shoes
supra outlet
kobe 9 shoes
adidas yeezy
coach outlet store online
2017.7.15chenlixiang

John said...

moncler uk
gucci
tory burch outlet online
cavaliers jerseys
louis vuitton outlet online
coach outlet online
mulberry uk
clarks shoes outlet
jordan uk
salomon outlet
20170727yuanyuan

raybanoutlet001 said...

golden state warriors jerseys
michael kors uk
49ers jersey
fitflops sale
cheap basketball shoes
michael kors outlet
ugg boots
eagles jerseys
nike factory outlet
oakley sunglasses

dong dong23 said...

ugg boots
coach factory outlet
ralph lauren outlet
ugg boots
prada handbags
polo ralph lauren uk
true religion uk
snapbacks hats wholesale
oakley vault
oakley canada
20179.9wengdongdong