Monday, October 19, 2009


(written in conjunction with previous post)

I’m going to say boys here because I’ve yet to meet a man. Okay, that’s not fair, but fewer. However, to be honest, I’m not really looking, but what I’ve heard about the DC male population is not promising.

I feel like I’m at a county fair and this food all looks really good, but it either tastes like crap or the false promises of aesthetic appeal leads to an upset stomach and general irritation that I wasted $4 on that deep-fried Twinkie adorned with powdered sugar. Fuck the powdered sugar. Give me a tasteless rice cake that fills me.

I used to have this “Guy Qualifications” list. (Shut-up, I was 19!) Guidelines I made after my 2.5 year relationship. Posted to Xanga (Shut-up, I was 19!), my 4.5 year relationship read it and thought it was describing him. It wasn’t. (I mean, it did, but it wasn’t.) Very recently I realized that I must be maturing, as I tossed aside that list for a sudden revelation of the one qualification I will require in an everlasting love: Laughter.

Okay, okay: Brown hair, blue eyes, a college education, motivation, the desire for kids…and laughter. Actually, I might be willing to forgo these things for just the laughter. And non-reciprocated back rubs…and all his folded potato chips.

I realized that what went missing in my past failed relationships was laughter. Samantha Jones, in her infinite totally non-fictional wisdom, once said, “Sex is a barometer for the relationship”. Perhaps, but I think my barometer is laughing – and when I’m happy, all the other good things will follow.

I am grateful for no longer being in a broken relationship and trying desperately to make it work because for some reason maybe I thought it would be easier that way. Now, I would endure 500 heartbreaks to find someone that truly gets me and can make me laugh through my saddest of tears. This will be the man I love eternally.


For now, I’m good alone. No worries or fights, no questions to be answered. For now, I’ll entertain the masses…and laugh along the way.