Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Friends are like wardrobes.

When I was packing to move a couple of months ago the first place I started was with my closet. As a woman with over 200 pairs of shoes, it was the logical first step. I donated over 50 pairs of shoes - soon after collecting a few more anyway, but seriously, those! ->

I riffled through my drawers and closets and shelves and whatnots and donated and threw out bags and bags of old and new rarely worn clothing, sometimes asking myself "What was I thinking?" or introspectively reminiceing about the good times I had wearing those garments. Some that were awesome, but didn't fit, I found good homes for; like a too-big suit I gave to my mom and it snagged her her new job! (Yay momma!) Some were just not who I was anymore. And some, like my 13 year old sweater, riddled with holes, still made the cut. When I was finished, my wardrobe was thinned out, I felt accomplished; lighter, and like I still had plenty of things to wear, none of which made me feel bad about my waistline. 

During this process, I also came to the realization that friends are like wardrobes. My new mantra I told my mother, as she looked at me quizzically. With all the bullshit transpiring in the past year - and even for a girl who really loves analogies - this one seems legit. I went on to explain: They come and go like clothes in a closet and sometimes, when they don’t fit anymore or make you feel bad about your belly, you need them throw them out. You have other clothes in your closet; stores full of hundreds of things that fit better; match with your evolved style. And yet sometimes you have the piece you got at 17 that you knew when you wrapped your body: 'it doesn’t matter how many holes this gets, or how much it falls apart, I’m going to have this forever' - and I still do. A few pieces you just can’t bear to let go of, so you tuck them back in your closet, in a box preserving time and wait for the opportunities, event, and weight-loss/gain to wear them again. And friends, much the same, are a rotation – evolving to fit who you have become; who you are at present; and who you want to be.

I think too often we hold on to people who don’t ‘fit’ anymore, simply because they were once an important staple in our wardrobe of life. People change and grow and move on and it’s harmful, I think, when we refuse to admit that people who we chose at family for a time, are no longer a big part of who we are - or at least not in this moment. For whatever reason we’ve grown apart, circumstances of changed, events have occurred or one person hurt another. It’s okay to let things go or pack them away until you're ready again. It’s healthy to make room for the future.

Recently I realized if I tell someone that they hurt me, they don’t apologize, and I just let it go, then all I’m doing is giving them permission to hurt me again. Sometimes it’s okay to let things – and people – go. In fact, it’s probably a really good exercise: Reminding ourselves what is worth keeping; de-cluttering with reason and purpose; or perhaps just waiting trends and evolution to catch up. And right then, at the toss of the jeans, your life (and heart) feel a whole lot lighter.



8 comments:

Ruhoo said...

Hey! I was interested in getting a psychic reading at Sacred Circle and I came across your blog. If you don't mind me asking, did anything they say come to fruition? I am struggling with that decision. Thanks.

Hatching West said...

Um. Some. I've been to quite a few of their events. Some have come true; others not at all not even close. But sometimes there years are off their timelines, so we'll see.

They have been spot on about things that are at current. So that's always interesting. I'll give it time.

Unknown said...

ralph lauren outlet, http://www.ralphlaurenoutlet.in.net/
futbol baratas, http://www.futbol-baratas.com/
oakley sunglasses, http://www.oakleysunglasses-outlet.us.com/
lululemon outlet, http://www.lululemonoutletstore.in.net/
ray ban sunglasses, http://www.raybansunglass.co.uk/
ray ban sunglasses, http://www.raybansunglass.com.au/
north face jackets, http://www.thenorthfaces.in.net/
coach outlet online, http://www.coachoutletonline.in.net/
ralph lauren, http://www.poloralphlaurenoutlet.it/
oakley sunglasses, http://www.wholesaleoakleysunglasses.us.com/
true religion jeans, http://www.truereligionjean.in.net/
pandora jewelry, http://www.pandorajewelryoutlet.us.com/
louis vuitton handbags, http://www.louisvuittonhandbags.org.uk/
swarovski outlet, http://www.swarovski-outlet.co.uk/
tory burch outlet, http://www.toryburchoutletonline.in.net/
oakley sunglasses wholesale, http://www.oakleysunglasseswholesale.us.com/
nike huarache, http://www.nike-airhuarache.co.uk/
hollister uk, http://www.hollistershirts.co.uk/
oakley outlet, http://www.oakleyoutlet.in.net/
michael kors handbags, http://www.michaelkorshandbag.co.uk/
oakley sunglasses, http://www.oakleysunglassesdiscount.us.com/
louis vuitton handbags, http://www.louisvuittonhandbagsoutlet.co.uk/
ray ban sunglasses, http://www.ray-bansunglassess.in.net/
dansko outlet, http://www.dansko-shoes.us/
coach outlet, http://www.coachoutletstores.com.co/
ray ban sunglasses, http://www.ray-bansunglasses.eu.com/
air max 2014, http://www.airmax2014.net/
cheap nba jerseys, http://www.nbajerseys.net/
0922maoqiuyun

Unknown said...

TEN0407
babyliss flat iron
mulberry handbags
longchamp handbags
mulberry handbags
michael kors uk
mulberry handbags
hollister uk
tiffany jewellery
oakley sunglasses uk
fitflops uk
fitflops shoes
ralph lauren outlet
ralph lauren pas cher
tiffany and co
oakley sunglasses wholesale
hollister shirts
tiffany outlet
hollister shirts
coach outlet store
mulberry sale
oakley sunglasses
oakley sunglasses wholesale
ray ban sunglasses
oakley sunglasses
hollister clothing
kate spade handbags
burberry outlet online
coach outlet online
true religion jeans
burberry outlet

Unknown said...

jordan shoes
true religion jeans
fitflops
kate spade outlet
retro jordans
oakley outlet
toms outlet
ray ban wayfarer
ralph lauren polo outlet
gucci outlet
vans shoes outlet
jordan 3 infrared
nike basketball shoes
coach outlet
true religion jeans
coach outlet
michael kors outlet
louis vuitton
louis vuitton outlet
oakley sunglasses
michael kors outlet
burberry outlet online
louis vuitton outlet
kobe 9
longchamp handbags
oakley sunglasses
cheap jordan shoes
oakley sunglasses
polo ralph lauren
jordan 8s
coach factory outlet
polo ralph lauren
coach outlet
celine
instyler curling iron
ray-ban sunglasses
jordan 6
ray ban sunglasses
michael kors handbags
supra shoes
20167.27wengdongdong

raybanoutlet001 said...

vera bradley outlet
cheap air jordans
nike air huarache
Cheap Jordans For Sale
michael kors outlet store
michael kors outlet
adidas nmd
ultra boost
nike roshe run one
tiffany and co uk

raybanoutlet001 said...

michael kors uk
new balance shoes
fitflops
christian louboutin shoes
michael kors outlet online
oakley sunglasses
oakley sunglasses
moncler jackets
michael kors outlet
cheap oakley sunglasses

Unknown said...

zzzzz2018.5.25
pandora
nhl jerseys
nike air max
ralph lauren outlet
adidas football soldes
mbt shoes
ray ban sunglasses
moncler jackets
off white outlet
polo pas cher