Monday, November 15, 2010

Indecision is a Decision

I'm a horrible decision-maker. Again, a quint-essential Libra trait. I mean, once I've made a decision and I'm sold, it's solid and I'm hard to budge. But if I have any room to waiver, I will spend far, FAR too long go back in forth about logistics and rational for each point of contention: Read: Choice A or Choice B ... or perhaps even a C or D. I will take E: All of the Above. This can go anywhere from where to live to what to eat for lunch. To which shoes to buy (which, sometimes leads to Choice E - and that can get expensive. In recent years I made a rule that if I have to ask myself if I like something, not to buy it.) More often than not, I'll spend so much time going back in forth that my indecision creates the decision for me. Which, I suppose, was my decision in the first place. Last night I was trying to make, what should have been, a very easy and simple choice. It likely had no baring on my life and I enlisted the help of my friend whom I was conversing with on gchat at the time - which went like this:

me: i like to just be directed.
i'm not gonna lie.
direct me till i protest.
C: well there's you answer.
next time I'll just direct.
me: but don't get mad when i protest. thats just me making a decision
C: I don't take offense to your protest
I realize it's your decision process

I didn't exactly realize that that is my decision process till just then. But it is. I make apologies for it; I understand it can be excessively frustrating for my decision 'bouncees' - but just imagine being inside my head. On the plus side, once I commit to a decision, I rarely feel remorse. Mostly just contentment. Perhaps delight. It's getting there that's the problem (...but I suppose that's most anything in life).