Yesterday, I made an appointment with the doctor. I waited for a half hour past my appointment time. Then, the nurse asked "What happened?"
"I burned my boob."
She giggles, "What? I'm going to need more of the story." I tell her. She takes my vitals. 120/80. She tells me there is a student doctor today.
"Perfect," I say, "I was hoping to flash as many people as possible". She laughs and leaves.
The doctor comes in alone. (Nice, one less person to flash.) She asks me what I did. "I burnt my boob with hot wax."
She smiles, but obviously not thinking it was as kinky as the nurse did, she inquires as to how. Well, I'll tell you:
I'm an idiot. And I might have A.D.D. I was packing and cleaning out all my bathroom stuff and found a wax kit I bought a few years ago. I put it in front of the bathroom door until I decided if I wanted to keep it or chuck it. A couple of hours later I went to take a shower and saw the wax kit and was like "Hell, I'll just use it now, then throw it out". So I put the wax in the microwave for a minute - not reading to do 30 sec increments - and took it out. Only the middle was warm - the rest was still hard - so I put it in for another minute. Since I was heading to the shower, and my roommate's already gone, I was barely wearing a towel and when I took the wax out a second time it was a lot thinner of a liquid than before. Since the microwave is above eye-level, it spilled on my chest.
I show her. She makes that sucking air through your teeth noise. "Ya, you really burned yourself."
I asked if I was a first. I am indeed. I have 2nd degree burns. She gave me Silvadene and gauze. Hot.
However, on the plus side, if you have a semi-serious burn, you notice the pain less when you wax yourself. How's that for commitment?
I assure you, it looks more painful in person. And, no, for the record, I did not scream. I was too busy slapping molten wax off my body. Blonde...